Roll call. . . All the independent women please stand up, hmm..well… marriages would be easier if the women were not independent!!!
A certain comment by female on a picture uploaded on Facebook provoked me to write this, well yes provoked I must say! A snap of a friend’s ‘Sindur Daan’ … a shy bride and an intense groom, the picture brought a smile on my face. And then there was this comment – ‘this is the best moment in a gals life’… well I couldn't just grimaced and let it go, I had to write this.
With most of my friends getting married this year, I have noticed one thing common with all the marriage -- the idiosyncratic change in their FB status!! From ‘it was fun with friends and pizza’ or ‘what a movie’ to ‘cooked food for hubby dear’ and ‘ its Monday hubby back to office L’ . And the love for your husband is, supposedly, even more when the FB profile unites ‘Mr and Mrs X’ and more so when suddenly there are no individual snap of yours to put up as profile pictures.
What I fail to understand is why educated, intelligent, modern (well, atleast so called) working girls go almost drooling over their husbands! Why can’t they simply keep their husband and marriage as a part of their life and have a life of their own as well? How can they choose to be so dependent so much so that they seize to exist?
We’ve all heard, or perhaps experienced a version of this story: man and woman meet, they fall in love, date for a while, and move in together. They frame photos, arrange them on the walls, pick out furniture, make a nest. Sweet enough! But enough to fulfill the dreams of a woman?
Let’s count for the heck of it how many happy moment I had in my life.. my first salary, my successful treks, meeting my close friends after years, going back home each vacation , yet the happiest will be when I am sure that I made myself what I aspired to be -- professionally and personally.
Now, before you jump all over me, I am a not a feminist and neither am I against marriage. I would be as happy to be married as marriages can make someone happy (well..yeah..honestly). But I disagree with that role-based, androcentric approach to marriage.
I don't know how many independent women stay married or get married without a hassle. What I think is that marriage would be easier if women were not independent; just caretakers of males needs in marriage with no real lives of their own. Let’s just say to put it modern day meaning (in world of FB and twitter) best and most loving wives are those who tweet ‘cooked rajma chawal today..his fav’ or gets a joint FB account with her hubby dear!
My question is: Does a woman hinder her chances of marriage by doing something or demanding that she loves to? Why are some women not just ‘wife material’? Just wondering how many guys would be actually intrigued by a woman when she has a job, a car, a home, a social circle, takes her own decision and is self-assured. Well guess there are two ways – be a wife who ‘is allowed’ to work have her own life (that means go shopping or a girls day out) provided she cooks and babysits her husband or date but with dignity.
